Wednesday 28 May 2008

Rage against the machine

Several days have passed since I last expressed my fury at Arsene Wenger and his inactivity in the transfer market. Yet the propaganda merchants at still reveal no new major signings, instead the talk is of our useless young players who never make it through; while the shiny website that is funded by our supporters money continues to go on about last season as if it wasn't a catastrophic failure, my blood is reaching boiling point and my ears are expressing the most petulant of steam. One has to look to the English tabloids for the reliable facts.

Meanwhile I bet you Arsene is probably sunning himself on the French Riviera, and he's probably got a big suitcase full of banknotes with him that he is determined not to spend out of spite for hard working Arsenal supporters like myself, every second that goes past with Arsene smugly sitting on his pot of cash is like a a knife through the intima of my Arsenal red aorta. Any success we've had over recent years has been in spite of Arsene, just imagine how many trophies we could have had if we'd kept Bruce Rioch in charge. How dare Arsene and the board think in the long term instead of putting the club's future in the balance by recklessly racking up debt on the Arsenal credit card?

Some people have questioned my ability to remain angry and spit vitriolic abuse at the club and manager that I support, I say to them that 90 days is easy when you've been full of pent up dysfunctional rage for many years. These people who question me aren't proper Arsenal supporters anyhow; some of them aren't even English and others do not have the brain power to appreciate my gospel. By the way I don't actually read those other blogs, it's just my extra sensory perception gives me a magical insight into their deluded ways. I also don't have time to do humour.

I love venting my spleen, but even if Arsene were to spend big this summer, sign some top quality players and then win the league, I won't be happy. That would not be enough to satisfy my rampaging desire for spending big and taking over the world. Arsene will never manage world domination and this is why Arsene can be proven to know nothing, QED. I know I am right because everyone else is wrong, it's that simple (you can't argue with that kind of argument and I certainly won't let you); my clever little neurone knows this and he will stick his fingers in his ears and sing it loudly to the entire world. So listen up my apostles and repeat after me........


Proops said...

I totally concur.
If we don't sign Ronaldinho, we need to sack everyone involved. He's clearly the best player in the world, hard-working, fit, and never been disruptive at any club he's been at. And we desperately need a player who can play just off a striker. Once we've signed him, it'll be a weight off my mind this summer.
We'll then need to sign whichever player Clive Tyldsley recommends as player of the tournament at Euro 2008.
Plus we need to sign that kid who plays for Cardiff.
And what about an English player? Micah Richards and Joleon Lescott must be available.
We lost last season because of our lack of strength in depth, so all we need to do is sign another entire team and we're guaranteed to win everything.
What does Arsène know?

1979gooner said...

Indeed. Where's our English spine?

We need Huddlestone, Woodgate, Defoe for starters.

Only then would the slimline Ronaldinho be tempted to sign.

upurarsenehole said...

dont worry next season we dont need fat ron
Eboue will bang in 25 goals 4 us then fuck off 2 barca because he dont like living in a big city ala helb

1979gooner said...

Eboue banging in 25 would be some kind of miracle, Arsene would definitely be touted as the Messiah then!

Anonymous said...

Nice one 1979gooner.

Keep it up, but the self appointed 'Grovers' won't be happy when they read this. Well they won't be happy when someone else reads this and tells them what they you have said.

They won't be happy with Arseblogger either, but its only 'cos' 'e' 'iz' 'foregn'.

1979gooner said...

well, if anyone doesn't like it then they are free to come here and make comment, I am always open to criticism, unlike some who hide behind the shield of censorship!

K man said...

Good to see Vela has got a work permit and Nasri seems to be a done deal. Both are highly rated and in the Arsenal mould - look forward to watching both next season.

Obsinho said...

Another good post 1979. But maybe you should leave the Chump Manager brigade alone for a while - they're not worth it. They're also never going to change. In the way that a dogshit is never going to undergo a miraculous transformation and stop being a dogshit.

1979gooner said...


still quite fun to poke the turd with a stick though, obviously keeping a safe distance

Ted said...

Actually, dog shit breaks down over time into useful fertizilers for the soil. Perhaps we can boil the Grove Chumps down into some useful glue?