Monday 31 May 2010

Joan Laporta exclusive

Sources close to this blog can exclusively reveal that Joan Laporta's wife has some very harsh things to say about her husband. His wife started off with some very blunt words about the size of Joan's maggot sized manhood:

"It is very small, when I first unveiled his little fella I had to first clear the small forest of hair before I could see the true extent of Joan's weener, then again he does have a woman's name so it really isn't that surprising and it is quite big for a clitoris"

She then went on to reveal just why she had tied the knot with this repulsive greedy individual:

"Well it's certainly not his looks or personality, he works hard and brings home a lot of money, the fact that he works so hard also means that I very rarely have to see his unpleasant face or smell his odious aroma"

Then moving onto talk about Joan's strange habits of behaving like an utter c*nt and always trying to get exactly what he wants the way he wants it, she said:

"The other day we went out for dinner and Joan refused to pay the price on the menu for his steak, he thought it was only worth half as much. However when the chef came out and threatened to retrieve the unpaid half of the steak from his stomach with a large blunt knife, Joan pissed his pants and paid up"

Those final comments from Joan's wife explain why Joan is behaving like such a c*nt regarding Cesc Fabregas. As Joan Laporta publicly thanks Cesc for openly declaring he wants to join Barca, incidentally something Cesc has never done, I would like to publicly say thanks to Joan Laporta for being a complete and utter c*nt. Joan, my message for you is pay up or shut up you contemptible piece of sh*t.


TonytheGooner said...

the silence from wenger and gazidis on fabregas is an insult to the fans

Anonymous said...

If they came out and said they are negotiating to sell fabregas then his price would decrease. If they lied and said fabregas is staying and then he left they would get labeled liars.
What are the supposed to say?

Anonymous said...

if wenger said anything about the cesc situation he'd reduce arsenal's ability to negotiate well with barca. He'd be admitting fabregas wants out and his price would fall. Conversely, if he publicly said fabregas is not for sale, he'd piss off cesc more (leaving us with an even more unhappy player) and probably then cesc would agitate further/publicly for a move.

Until Barca come in with a solid offer (be it high or low) which i believe has not happened yet, Arsenal are under no obligation to make any comment.

Sure, i'd like to know what's happening with cesc but not if it comes at the cost of important negotiations

adam truman said...

Silence is the best way to deal with them. Whatever you say will be twisted to their advantage and Barcelona cannot help opening their mouths. They should pay up or shut up. Maybe we should advise them that every time they mention his name, the price increases by £1M

Baloney said...


Ho0w is it an insult to the fans?

The facts are that barca have NOT made an offer for our player, the club never respond to media speculation. There is nothing to comment on.

You seem like one of those twats who tries to twist everything to slate the manager and club.

1979gooner said...


Silence is the only sensible approach given the circumstances.

The Law said...

I'm sick and tired of trying to have any kind of logical discussion with people like you, and if this means I'm stooping to your level, so be it, but I have to say it:

Tony, you're a moron.

Uncle Mike said...

I don't believe any such interview with Mrs. Laporta ever happened. And yet, I find it completely believable. Certainly, I find it more believable than anything published in The Sun,, or any Spanish media.

Eighty million pounds, Joan. Offer us a penny less, and you can go to hell. Or would that be redundant.

Anonymous said...

Laporta is really a piss and unprincipled. He has no morals the way he is building up this Fabregas saga. Now it looks like he is trying his damnest to instigate a 'fight' between Fabregas and Arsenal by insinuating that Arsenal is the stumbling block. In truth Laporta, pay up the BP80 million, and you can tell Barcelona and your fans that "he is coming home". Otherwise, shut your blxxdy cxxt of your mouth! Arsenal is not interested in anything less, not even one penny less!!

Iceman Gunner said...

Hhahahaaa!!! fantastic! I would love to chuck a brick at that ugly head of his!

Check my blog if you can!

libero said...

Have to sympathize with Laporta on this one i'm afraid. You boys poached Fabregas when he was 16 for a pittance. Barca are now getting their own back by making an offer and talking up the prospect of Fabregas joining them. Let's face it, Cesc wanted to join you boys when you acted unprincipally years ago and now wants to go back to Barca when they're behaving in their usual brash manner today. Get over it. Cesc is chasing the money and trophies which let's face it he hasn't had for a while. Neither you or Barca can really claim the moral high ground.