"It is very small, when I first unveiled his little fella I had to first clear the small forest of hair before I could see the true extent of Joan's weener, then again he does have a woman's name so it really isn't that surprising and it is quite big for a clitoris"
She then went on to reveal just why she had tied the knot with this repulsive greedy individual:
"Well it's certainly not his looks or personality, he works hard and brings home a lot of money, the fact that he works so hard also means that I very rarely have to see his unpleasant face or smell his odious aroma"
Then moving onto talk about Joan's strange habits of behaving like an utter c*nt and always trying to get exactly what he wants the way he wants it, she said:
"The other day we went out for dinner and Joan refused to pay the price on the menu for his steak, he thought it was only worth half as much. However when the chef came out and threatened to retrieve the unpaid half of the steak from his stomach with a large blunt knife, Joan pissed his pants and paid up"
Those final comments from Joan's wife explain why Joan is behaving like such a c*nt regarding Cesc Fabregas. As Joan Laporta publicly thanks Cesc for openly declaring he wants to join Barca, incidentally something Cesc has never done, I would like to publicly say thanks to Joan Laporta for being a complete and utter c*nt. Joan, my message for you is pay up or shut up you contemptible piece of sh*t.