Thursday, 9 July 2009

Exclusive news - Bulgarian quadroped signs

I can exclusively reveal that 99.999% of the football related stories on the Internet are complete and utter fiction, it never ceases to amaze me just how much crud is churned out these days, the incessant river of football related fiction doesn't appear to be running dry as yet though. Since our ancient ancestors changed their lifestyles from that of hunter gatherers to permanent settlers using agriculture we have seen how the division of labour has resulted in people being able to spend their time doing more and more luxurious and useless things. For example these days we even have people spending their lives kicking footballs for a living, and in some cases this is done in a rather uncoordinated fashion while sporting cockerels on their jerseys. God, there is even enough time for people to spend their time earning a living by writing about those who kick the footballs around.

Anyway I digress, this week we have read stories linking us with numerous players that we have never heard of, we have seen that numerous people are then recycling these fantastical rumours to make more stories and amazingly some people seem to believe what they read, sometimes even losing sleep as to whether the rumours linking us to a one eyed Bulgarian goat are true or not. Strangely it appears that there is quite a demand for this utter rot, meaning that those who invent this rubbish are attracting a lot of traffic to their sites. One of the first utterly awful websites to do this was Tribal Football, one can guarantee that over 99% of their stories are completely fabricated, I just wish people would stop visiting these writers of baseless fantasy.

What's my point I hear you say? Well I don't really have one, I just felt like venting a bit of steam and expressing an opinion, that's the point of sites like ours I think. Maybe we have more power than we think as if we made a conscious effort not to visit sites that routinely make up their 'news' and not to link to these websites, then they may be somewhat less popular than they currently are. I particularly enjoyed Ted's ramblings from yesterday, they sum up the story so far for me.

Onwards to some solid news, the club have announced that RVP has signed a new long term deal at the club, what a boost that is going into pre season training. RVP certainly had a good season last year and also managed to stay injury free, the comments that came with this contract fill me with a lot of hope for the coming season. The club have also announced some more pre season fixtures, the bigger fixtures are coming around in early August with Atletico and Valencia featuring. There are some good photos of pre season training here, as Ted has commented Mr Vermaelen appears to have the icy cold stare of a hardened killer, so hopefully he can begin the slaughtering of opposition strikers next season. Arseblogger has also scooped up an interesting interview with the club CEO Mr Ivan Gazidis. So there you have it, not that much has happened if you only read the more reliable news sources, there certainly is no need to start fretting just yet, jgnore the rubbish and come on you Gunners.


Anonymous said...

whats this bulgarian like is he any good ? .stevo.

1979gooner said...

he can climb mountains, unfortunately due to his monocular vision he has great difficulty with 3d perception

Obsinho said...

Our squa is one world class midfielder short of being ok. If vermaelen is as mean as he looks we will be ok at the back. The pressure on song and denilson is still too high for two young players yet to perform across a whole arduous season.

Buy actually, I don't fucking care anyway. I am sure next season will be a laugh either way.

1979gooner said...

agreed Obs, we need a central midfielder no doubts,

especially when one considers song will be away for the ACN mid season

Ted said...

at least song and denilson have a season of experience now under their belts. plus diaby is going to be sensational next year.

Uncle Mike said...

A year ago, Arsenal fans were saying, "We need another central midfielder." Six months ago, we were saying, "We need another central midfielder." When we got knocked out of the FA Cup and the Champions League in each's semifinal by another of England's Big Four, we were saying, "We need another central midfielder." Now, as another season is only a month and change away, we're saying, "We need another central midfielder."

Along with the usual foul-but-accurate things we say about Spurs, Chelsea and Man U, not to mention a few imprecations about Phil Brown's lack of honesty and svelteness, and the total lack of any credibility of any story involving Arsenal players in media other than and Arsenal blogs, which apparently have more attention to getting the story right than the English, Spanish and Italian press!

The only thing I know about Bulgarians is that they've won a few Olympic medals in weightlifting (cough-steroids-cough), and in "From Russia With Love," Sean Connery (as James Bond) was told they are mean and relentless, and the KGB liked to hire them as assassins for that reason.

Ted: The second half of the recently-ended season suggests you're definitely right about Song who improved by leaps and bounds, and could be right about Denilson who went from hopeless to rather competent. If you turn out to be right about Diaby, it would help a lot, but I'm not optimistic. If he never played another minute for this club, I wouldn't mind it at all.

I think I'm getting excited about the new season. Now, if we can just get that damn central midfielder that 1979gooner, Arseblogger and the rest have been saying we need for over a freakin' year now!

K man said...

Uncle Mike, I can assure you that Ted's comment about Diaby was just an example of the dry english sense of humour. He hates him even more than I do.