Instead of concentrating on the positive, I have decided to be a thoroughly vindictive bastard in nominating my top ten c***s of the tournament so far. Obviously I am making no pretence to be objective, this top ten is sculpted by my most rampantly partisan neurones that care not for the pretence of being fair minded or neutral. So up to the number one in top of the pops fashion:10. Luca Toni - aptly compared to a blancmange by Mark Lawrenson, his pathetic diving wins him his place despite it being more comedy than callous in its nature.
9. Oojer - had to get a dirty Blackburn player in and with his vicious attempts to break Ashavin's legs he has cemented his place.
8. Kovac - hard Croat defender who makes it on the list courtesy of a shocking two footed lunge in the first group game that didn't even merit a card.
7. Ruud Van Nistelrooy - despite doing nothing particularly malicious this time round, Ruud earns his place thanks to several years of disreputable endeavour as a dirty Manu player.
6. Modric - he plays for the scum and is another Croat who seems to think it's ok to dive in with two straight legs and studs showing, good player we must get used to abusing.
5. Cassano - an Italian version of Ronaldo, a despicable petulant diver who irritates me before I've even turned the TV on.
4. Camaronese - there's a bit of recurrent Italian theme here, with good reason I may add, this particular one just strikes me as a rather nasty piece of work.
3. Makelele - despite not lasting long in the competition Makele still found ample time to elbow, stamp and scythe; as he gets older he gets filthier to make up for his fading skills.
2. Gattuso - I've lost count of the number of dangerous tackles this dirty midfielder has made, he could have earnt four yellows in the France game alone, only an Italian could get away with such filth.
1. Ronaldo - need I explain myself, this petulant spotty little git represents all I detest about the modern game; he lacks any trace of modesty, class or sportsmanship. He now claims that his 'loyalty' towards manu means he deserves a transfer, what a deluded little shit.
Before finalising this list I shall put the debate open to the floor, so please make your arguments heard. Is there anyone I have forgotten or anyone that really doesn't deserve to be on this list?
