The cheating chavs expose our dodgy defence

I was heartened to see Emmanuel Adebayor left out of the team today following his apathetic performances against the mancs, we started with the 4-5-1 formation, RVP leading the line, Walcott-Diaby-Song-Cesc-Nasri in the midfield and Silvestre coming in for Djourou at the back. The first half performance was excellent, yet somehow we managed to go in at half time 2-0 down, this is the bizarre sport that we know as football.

Chelsea were up against the Emirates walls early on, Walcott saw several half chances come and go, Diaby missed a sitter after a fantastic square ball from Cesc, Walcott then narrowly missed the top corner with a nicely cushioned side foot effort from the edge of the box. Despite looking poor, Chelsea created a great chance which Malouda contrived to stub into Fabianski's arms from eight yards out, a warning shot across the bow. Drogba then cheated as only he can, for the supra-six foot musclebound monster he is, he doesn't half go down like a geriatric without their zimmer-frame, Cesc brushed his heel and he took another step before faking the extent of the contact. Alex scored with a mighty header from the subsequent free kick, Silvestre didn't do enough to put him off. The second goal came after Nasri was turned far too easily in the centre of the pitch by Anelka, Anelka then dribbled on, Silvestre back off and watched, Anelka scored. So we were two down despite our territorial domination, emphasising just where out team is weak, our softness in the centre of our midfield and in the centre of our defence was there for all to see again.

The second half saw one of the most incompetent refereeing performances of the season from Phil 'fat twat' Dowd. Early in the half yet another extremely soft free kick for bugger all saw Chelsea score, Toure was very unlucky to see his attempted clearance stroll in off the post. More excellent chances came and went, RVP took too much time when pretty much clear and Cech saved, Walcott missed a simply one on one opportunity, Cesc almost connected with an excellent Walcott back stick cross. We finally converted to make it 3-1, a lovely Sagna cross was brilliantly headed into the bottom corner by Bendtner, fantastic goal. In this time Dowd had continued to award non existent free kicks for blatant Drogba backing in and obvious Malouda diving, even on perfectly clean Toure tackle resulted in a Chelsea free kick.

We also had two excellent shouts for a penalty, I somehow think Chelsea won't be getting quite so worked up over these missed penalty calls. For the first Ade had his shirt blatantly yanked as he went onto a through ball in the box, Dowd had a good view, took a another bite of his pie, scratched his hairy fat arse, farted, itched his armpit, climbed a tree and waved play on, fat twat. The second shout came when Ade beat Cech when clean through, Cech slid in, got nothing on the ball, put Ade off balance as he had to hurdle the challenge, and clipped him, Dowd had another great view, walked off to buy another pie, belched and again waved play on. This second penalty would have been soft, but I have seen many of this appealed for at the Bridge and many given at Old Trafford. Chelsea then walked up the other end and scored a goal than was about 2 metres offside.

I'm not an sad neanderthal Chelsea fan so I won't be sending Phil Dowd death threats sealed in an envelope of chav encrusted hate, I may consider sending him a couple of Slimfast shakes however. The main reason we lost the game today was our failure to take our chances and our soft centre at the back. We are simply not good enough defensively to deserve a higher finish than fourth spot. Although Toure got the own goal I thought he played well, Silvestre did not, while when deployed in a more defensive role Nasri does not provide enough solidity to break up attacks. There was also not enough defending from the front from certain players, Bendtner did this terribly well when he came on, Theo should take note, you simply cannot afford to allow your man a free run at this level. So overall our obvious weaknesses were exposed, we were a bit unlucky and Phil Dowd is a fat twat. Hopefully we can put the first two of those three right next season, I don't think the third one is likely to change.