Thursday, 18 June 2009

Momentum building? Lucas signing close


So having listened to a few unbiased scousers I must concede that Xabi Alonso is the new messiah, a true gent, a great all round footballer and a one paced wonder, oh sorry I just couldn't keep those lies flowing. I will be so very disappointed if we don't sign the one paced wonder this summer, maybe scousers only value Alonso because they know the rather useless Lucas would have to play more games if Alonso went, a truly frightening prospect for Liverpool fans. Oh how I love pulling the chain of scousers, speaking of Merseyside, that where we're off for our Premiership opener next season. Our full fixture list can be seen here, an away trip to Manure early doors is our first massive game, while a spell beginning at the end of January sees us play the big three back to back. Still thinking of Xabi, maybe we could use his huge head for something? Perhaps it could block a top corner when we're defending set pieces?

The rumour most likely appears to be the signing of Thomas Vermaelen who is allegedly coming to London for a medical on friday, hopefully he will be wearing his Xabi Alonso mask to keep us Gooners happy. We really have no need for a solid and physical centre back, why defend when we could fill our squad with ball players who cannot tackle like Xabi Alonso? There are also some rumours about Fiorentina's robust and yellow card happy Felipe Melo, he would certainly add some filth given his tally of 17 yellow cards in Italy in his first season, get him a black curly haired wig and call him Keown I say. The 'respected' football journalist (is this not a contadiction in terms?) Philippe Auclair reckons some Lyon striker is close to signing for us, maybe he's the french Brian Woolnough so one could probably trust his brothel recommendations at a minimum.

Thing appear about ready to kick off on the transfer front now, with the rest of Europe's window opening on July the 1st expect some sparks to fly rather soon. There are still many questions that need to be answered before next season. Does big Phil have a future at the club, is William Gallas staying to fight for a place in the side? Will Pedro smash up Arsene's car? Is there any truth in the Clichy to Madrid rumours and would 18 million represent a great deal for us given the arrival of Kieran Gibbs? Will Xabi Alonso magically learn to tackle and defend thus making him a useful signing for us? Will scousers return to defend the mighty gods that are Xabi Alonso and Lex Lucas, sorry Lucas Leiva? Should we try to sign Lucas, Dossena, Babel, Voronin, Ngog and Plessis at the same prices that Liverpool paid for them as this would represent great value for money? Or should we just watch and laugh as the scousers go into administration as a result of their unsustainable spending which only a big football club could afford? Who knows, who knows, calm down by the way and think before posting any vitriol in response to my objective analysis of life, Alonso and everything.

14 comments:

arsenalfan said...

Im a true arsenal supporter but why are you being mean to teams that mean nothing to us. why dont u pick on tottemham or united cause everyones aloud to pick on them

1979gooner said...

I'm terribly sorry for being mean!

Is humour not allowed these days?

I must apologise once more if it is not.

arsenalfan said...

Sorry

nis said...

ha ha great post. I think Alonso has been this good(or bad) all these years and his sudden elevation surprises me although only because of its timing. Kinda like when ryan giggs won the award

Uncle Mike said...

Of course humor (or even humour) is allowed these days, or what's a Chelski for? (Example: Don't go into a pub near Stamford Bridge. Even Chelsea's bars are dives.)

1979gooner said...

I don't mind Liverpool at all either, compared to the evil forces of Manu and Chelsea they are relatively benign.

Good point Uncle Mike, Chelsea need to be abused fairly soon!

Anonymous said...

haha typical cockney, so bitter having not won a single senior trophy yet again. As per opting to reflect on the misfortunes of another club who amazingly finished above the gooners in the league despite their array of poor signings including xabi alonso who fails to provide Liverpool the balance week in week out to mount a serious title challenge. Makes me laugh how pathetic some arsenal fans can be and i find it amazing they can criticise a team who finished above them in the league! Undoubtdly the various injury related excuses will follow but Arsenal do seem to lack true quality players and any depth what so ever! Obviously they have got the spanish magician in the middle in the form of cesc although his incredible tackling work rate, leadership is most definitley superior to anything on display in Liverpool! Typical bitter cockney, inevitabley the scouse jokes will follow but sorry where did you finish last season? We do are talking on the pitch!

1979gooner said...

What a comeback, we finished higher than you, nah nah nah nah nah.

It's a bit of a Manure-esque comback really, we finished higher than you so there.

I'm not bitter, Liverpool had a great season and deserved to finish where they did, however I still don't rate Alonso and don't think he'd be a good signing for us.

If I were you I'd be rather worried over the sorry financial state of your club, you have been spending way beyond your means for several years now and it may well come home to roost.

So bitter? Far from it, credit where credit is due. Still a bit of a mocking never did anyone any harm, I thought scousers were meant to have senses of humour?

Ted said...

Rafa is my vote for the current manager who is worst at spending money. Of the £100m plus already spent, only Torres and Agger are top drawer. Reina is ok, maybe Agger as well. But come on scousers, that still leaves £50m up the wall on Babel, Lukas, Dossena etc. Liverpool did pretty good last season, and fair play to them for that, but no-one really challenged Manure and Rafa would need another £100m to spend on 6 new players to find 1 good one to take them on next season.

Instead. Liverpool are broke and the situation is only likely to get worse.

Anonymous said...

It is just too easy to poke fun at Liverpool, too easy. These are some that were on another Arsenal site a while back

Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool...

Q: What do Liverpool Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 2,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being

Q: What should you do if you see a scouse jogging?
A: Trip him up and give the lady's purse back to her

And that's not even delving into their spending, economic management, lack of trophies and joke of a manager

marcus said...

Auclair was talking about Marouane Chamakh, the main striker at Bordeaux, not Lyon. Supposedly he's supposed to replace Ade. I don't care for Ade and would love to see him go but he's better than Chamakh. Chamakh has some good qualities (much more of a team player than Ade, much better in the air) but even less clinical than Ade.

Rhinogooner said...

First signing announced...
www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/thomas-vermaelen-completes-move-to-arsenal

Uncle Mike said...

How about this one? Three Scousers are in the back seat. Who's in the front seat? The cops.

1979gooner said...

Nice one Mike!