It's hard carrying the world on one's shoulders, not only is the world heavy but having to bear the responsibility that I have chosen to take on is no mean feat . Fortunately I am made of better more hardy genetic stock than your average Gooner, so I have decided to appoint myself as the single unified voice of Gooner reason. This was motivated by watching years and years of dismal failure under our snail eating disgrace of a manager, Arsene Wenger, and having to put up with so many idiots who could not see the man for what he really is, an almost German who has wasted several years of his life away from football educating himself. The man is a bad joke, he knows so very little and may even be a Tottenham fan in disguise trying to sabotage our once great football club.
If anyone should disagree, they are wrong, if anyone should argue, then would be advised to pipe down, and if anyone should continue to argue, then my friends shall release the hounds. I can tell you that Wittgenstein and Russell would be shitting their pants if they had to take on my logic in a one on one. It's a sort of democratic thing, I represent the opinion of Gooners by popular demand, I'm the Zanu PF of North London because I'll only leave my self appointed post if confronted by several large tanks and a couple of tooled up choppers.
I won't say I haven't been feeling the strain though, I have been known to have problems with a split personality; luckily I upped my lager consumption in order to kill off my second brain cell, and now my visions are crystal clear. My rage has been consuming me from within, my hands tremble constantly and insomnia tortures my soul, but divine visions greet me in the night; I have seen the holy land, Arsene is no more, he is in my back garden underneath the sprouts, and I am our new manager and have just spent 1.6 billion on talent from the Championship creating a new English spine for our team. The silverware will be ours Gooners, just agree with me and bully anyone who does not, come join me in this self congratulatory party of wanton flatulence.